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Joke of the Day

"Private Manning will never get away with it! Corporal Klinger didn't"

"''Your call is important to us......please enjoy this 40 minute long flute solo''"

"I told my old classmate at our 10-year reunion that I'm a writer. ""Oh yeah?"" he asks. ""Have you sold anything yet?"" I said, ""Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."""

"You know the old saying: If it ain't Baroque... ...then it was probably written by more experimental composers after ~1760."

"If you add 'ish' on the end of the time, you're not really late."

"So I'm in a hotel and call the front desk saying, ""Hey! I gotta leak in the sink!"" The clerk says, ""Go ahead, the customer's always right..."" (Henny Youngman)"

"What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk? A milk dud."

"For what person do all men take off their hats? The barber."

"If ISIS were a Pokemon, which would they be? Voltorb; they're always using self destruct"

"To avoid small talk with neighbors I've taken to checking the mail in the middle of the night like some kinda raccoon with bills."