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Joke of the Day

"Bras come in sizes = AA, A, B, C, D, DD, E, OMG, WTF."

"My buddy is awesome at grilling steaks. They are all very well done"

"It costs today's parents $235,000 to raise a child. And that's just for the alcohol."

"Q: Why did the brain cell go to the other side of the brain? A: I don't know. It hadn't really crossed my mind."

"What do you call a nose without a body? Nobody knows..."

"I went to the doctor's and he asked me for a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample... So I handed him my underwear."

"A man walks into a bar. Smack."

"January 1: GONNA WORK OUT EVERYDAY January 2: [works out] Jan 3: [kind of works out] Jan 4: [too busy to work out] Jan 5: VANITY IS BULLSHIT"

"No I don't watch Mad Men. If I wanted to pretend like it was fifty years ago I'd just go to a Tea Party Rally."

"Why did Mozart kill his chicken? It kept saying ""BACH BACH BACH"" Why did Mozart kill his other chicken? To impress his Wolf-gang."