27254

Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the brain cell go to the other side of the brain? A: I don't know. It hadn't really crossed my mind."

"Coworker: Are you seeing anyone? Me: Unfortunately. CW: Then why are you dating her? Me: No, I meant you're standing in front of me."

"I don't like to boast about my sexual prowess but... (NSFW) I don't like to boast about my sexual prowess but I lick ass at cunnilingus. Oops, I mean kick ass. That was just a slip of the tongue."

"Pornography is often frowned upon. But that's only because I'm concentrating."

"what do anal sex and vegetables have in common? you enjoy both more as an adult if they arent forced on you as a child."

"Did you know you can drink Lava? But only once!"

"When I lose my glasses I become a horrible plumber because I can't see shit."

"I think I have a premature ejaculation problem it seems to come out of nowhere."

"Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."

"The Pope is resigning... They say he's hearing imaginary voices from the sky.... and he also wants to retire."