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Joke of the Day

"We should let prisoners take their own mug shots...I shall call it ""The cellfie"""

"How many Alzheimer victims does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side"

"The theme song from The Golden Girls is stuck in my head. and now its in yours too. Your welcome."

"At the Bar last evening, there was a blackout.... ..Good thing, I had a light beer."

"My wife woke me up all excited this morning... She said honey look at all the pounds I've lost. I told her that she was looking at our retirement account not her fitbit."

"Who can beat any burger at golf? Any LINKS sausage!"

"See ya later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. Catch ya manana, little iguana."

"If you cut off my head I'll continue eating for two more days."

"What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits? Make it sew number 1!"

"Thought of this one when i woke up today If someone injects Orange juice into their arm is it a Breakfix?"