185080

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a 5'10"" fortune teller parked in the middle of a divided highway? A medium medium on the median."

"What's Jerry Lewis's favorite vitamin? riboFLAVIN"

"Tweets got stolen. * Everybody looks at the new black dude following *"

"""911, what's your emergency?"" Hi i need to report a kidnapping. My son is taking a nap in my room right now."

"If Skittles were made from actual fruit, I'd be considered a much better parent."

"Who do you call for the console police? WiiU"

"A white couple doesn't just simply 'have a baby' without posting a pic of them showing her growing gut every day for 9 months."

"""Will the father be present during the birth?"" asked the obstetrician. ""Nah"" replied the mother-to-be ""He and my husband don't get along."""

"There are only two things in this world visible from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other is my pile of laundry."

"The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later."