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Joke of the Day

"Cop - Have you been drinking? Me - No, just taking my photo with R2D2 here. Cop - Sir that's a fire hydrant."

"There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant. Four fish got battered!"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A boy scout comes home from camp"

"My dad just told me I should ""stop wasting my life and do something meaningful"" Dad jokes, am I right?"

"Log Entry 21: it's been 3 weeks & we're still lost in this Macy's. We were forced to eat Amy. Polo ties are now 40% off."

"I want to open up a toupee shop. So when someone questions themselves about buying one, I can say, ""toupee or not toupee? That is the question."""

"my dishwasher stopped working.. i heard sometimes you just have to give em a good kick, and they'll start right up again so i tried that, then she dumped me"

"You wouldn't steal a gate. So why would you take offense?"

"Bought 17 a fanny pack for back to school to delay my becoming a grandfather too early."

"Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say ""don't"" and if he touches your pussy say ""stop""? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said ""don't stop"". "