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Joke of the Day

"Thank you to all the people who tweet landscape pictures so we don't forget what it looks like outside"

"Last night I dreamed that I was a homeless dog It was pretty *ruff*."

"My wife wanted a Christmas tree in every room But I said no way that's overkill. So we compromised and now there's a Christmas tree in every room."

"A horse walks into a bar....... Bartender: ""Why the long face?"" Horse: ""My alcoholism is destroying my family and my wife wants a divorce."""

"A lorry load of wigs has been stolen from down town. Police are combing the area."

"It was so hot when we went on holiday last year that we had to take turns sitting in each other's shadow."

"Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couplesfight and read high quality humor columns? To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight."

"The only time my girl friend will ever scream ""DEEPER, DEEPER""... ...is when they are lowering my casket into the ground!"

"What do you say to a thin American? How's the chemotherapy going?"

"A Monk went into a shoe store... He was doing some Sole Searching."