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Joke of the Day

"Follow your dreams. Search through your dreams mail. Show up drunk on your dreams doorstep. Kidnap your dreams. Never let your dreams go."

"Who is the wealthiest shellfish in the sea? [x-post from r/underwaterjokes] It's Prawnold Trump!"

"Don't read ""part a"" backwards. It's a trap."

"My punchlines are like lost baggage... you should get them in a couple of days. - George Watsky"

"Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street? She got hit by a Bus."

"It's raining cats and dogs... I hope I don't step in a Poodle!"

"What do you call a geologist who can't hear? Stone deaf..."

"Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert? They found traces of Mercury in him."

"I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery.... ....she was in charge of the hops."

"Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes? He likes to go... bearfoot! I'll see myself out..."