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Joke of the Day

"Win every disagreement by saying "" I know. I'm from the future."" Because they can argue with you, but not science."

"I was going to make a joke about anal... But fuck it"

"I can't believe carotene is STILL in its beta phase."

"[accidentally hits Siri in high school classroom] Siri: what can I do for you, #1 God of Sex? [every boy in the class checks their phone]"

"Here's a joke about my browser history: [deleted]"

"What do you get when you cross a rock climber with a tsetse fly? Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector."

"All I'm saying is there's a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them..."

"Stranger with a black eye is trying to talk to me. But I'm not going to respond cause it's pretty apparent she doesn't listen."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? If you said ""R"", you'd be wrong. You might think that it is ""r"", but it be the ""c""!"

"Don't be racist Instead, be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"