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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the water thief-turned-photographer? Apparently he was a great pitcher-taker. (Credit goes to my husband.)"

"Never commit a crime while working out Lest you get ill gotten gainz."

"Obi-wan: *holding baby* Let's make her a famous princess Droid: What about the other baby? Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere"

"- Baby, I just want everything to be like it was at the beginning. - When we first met? - No, before that."

"My friend bought a choir girl zombie costume for Halloween. She put it on and said, ""Am I menacing?"" I said, ""Of course, you're a choir girl."""

"Marriage means commitment. So does insanity. Coincidence?"

"What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there? Arrrh, it's driving me nuts"

"Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste **funny**."

"Why did the Papal Palace fill up with kittens? Because the Pope was a cat-holic. Eh? Eh?"

"There aren't many sports that couldn't be improved by adding a bear."