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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the water thief-turned-photographer? Apparently he was a great pitcher-taker. (Credit goes to my husband.)"

"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead."

"""A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer ."""

"I like my shits like I like my Slavs Squatting."

"What's the difference between Jesus and picture of Jesus ? It takes only one nail to hold the picture up"

"Anger; the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind."

"According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the blood alcohol level is to be measured in Lohans now"

"""Why is your blow up doll half deflated?"" ""She was getting a little heavy.."""

"My son, who is 10, just explained that the things he did when he was 7 no longer reflect the person that he is now. I need a drink."

"Little Johnny asked one day, ""Mommy can little girls give birth?"" ""No son. Of course not"" ""Oh OK... Hey Susie! Its OK to keep playing the game now!"""