184816

Joke of the Day

"why should you never buy a Asian graphics card? bad drivers."

"Q: Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman."

"The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is."

"[the cops release the cadaver sniffing dogs into my living room for the third time this week] ME: *pauses netflix* I told you I'm not dead!"

"What does my penis have in common with JP Morgan Chase and Bank of America? They are all too Big To Fail."

"I'm starting a new sport where people race on sea horses. I call it, ""Aquastrianism."""

"I went to Church for the first time last week. I asked my cousin: ""So, when does the Priest do his magic trick?"" ""What?"" ""You know, making the altar boy disappear under his robe."""

"Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul."

"TIL something incredibly shocking about Germany's former Chancellor... ...he was **literally** Hitler"

"Why... Can't illegal US immigrants play Uno? Because they keep stealing all the Green Cards"