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Joke of the Day
"Dead Alive Other"
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"Experts are close to classifying internet addiction as a mental illness. They just need to check one more thing. And Facebook. And Twitter."
"I asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the vodka Turns out he was my spirit guide."
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul."
"Lady: he's so mysterious Lady2: I wonder what he's thinking [Me, just wondering how easy it'd be to convert a nerf gun to fire meatballs]"
"If you're ever bored in a taxi I recommend mouthing, ""Help Me"" to strangers and watching their facial expressions"
"What's the difference between acne and a catholic priest The acne waits till your thirteen to cum on your face..."
"You don't have to study for a pregnancy test... but I have heard there's a lot of cramming that goes on before the exam."
"Melania Trump walks into a bar... and orders and Angel shot with lime."
"Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one *tale*"