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Joke of the Day

"Brother: Did you put the cat out ? Sister: Why is it on fire ?"

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"A guy wraps himself in plastic wrap, no clothes or anything and walks into a psychologists office. The first thing she says is, ""I can see your nuts."""
"I like my women how I like my computer. On my lap. Turned on. Virus free."
"How many introverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Why does it have to be a group activity?!"
"You'll never know what you want until someone says you can't have it."
"i know why the new windows is windows 10 instead of 9.. its because seven eight nine. im so proud of myself"
"And we're still calling it auto ""correct"" because...."
"What does the earth eat for breakfast? Continental breakfast, served on tectonic plates."
"When it comes to cooking herb-crusted fish... ...there's a thyme and a plaice."
"What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? Thrown out of the petting zoo"