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Joke of the Day

"Pizza is like sex... Its better with the boys"

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"Last night I played Cards Against Humanity for the first time... You know what gives me uncontrollable gas? Auschwitz"
"The real reason humans have two hands? Two boobs."
"Friends don't let friends have friends. Be a friend, don't be a friend."
"Which do Catholic priests like betterapples or cherries? Neitherthey prefer boysenberries."
"I have Ebola... ebola cerial."
"Why don't pc gamers get laid Because they're micro-soft"
"Taco guy: guac costs extra Obi Wan: [wafts hand] guac is free Taco Guy: guac is free... Anakin: why'd u even pay for the taco? Obi Wan: dammit"
"Does anyone have the number of a painter/decorator? I really need to get all my windows jammed so they never open again."
"A squirrel needs about two pounds of acorns a week to survive. That's nuts!"