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Joke of the Day

"*slaps the cup out of the barista's hand* ""No. I want Asriel, the guy with the man-bun, to make my latte. He has a better energy"""

"Women are like parking spots. The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Aids."

"Videogames ruined my life... ...but at least i have two more"

"I like my women like I like my fields..... fertile and full of my seed"

"Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?"

"Cannibal A cannibal and his son went hunting ,they hunted Britney Spears . The son said: papa, let us take her home and eat her? Father said : No, son, we take her home and eat your mother."

"Why was the tomato blushing? ...because he saw the salad dressing"

"What is the hardest thing to do after starting a family? Ending them."

"What should you say to a pig on roller skates? Don't say anything. Just get out of the way."