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Joke of the Day
"Some of us are quiet because we're worried our thoughts might come out."
Next Joke
"I spent this past weekend baby-proofing my house... I'm not having a baby, but I hung up a bunch of anime posters to make sure that I never do."
"Using only a paperclip, taffy, and rubber band, MacGuyver left another shitty tip."
"What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells."
"When I die I want my skeleton turned into a xylophone. Just like the good ol' days."
"Sticking a $5 bill into a vending machine turns it into my grandmother, dispensing stale snacks and rare dollar coins."
"A Buddhist monk approaches a burger food truck... ... And says ""make me one with everything""."
"Some guy keeps saying he's going to post a pic of his girlfriend in his next submission to r/Femdom but never delivers OP is a flagellate"
"Too black for casuals So we were having sex and my girlfriend asked if she could roleplay as a 14 year old teenager and i said : -what the fuck , u will be 14 in 2 years anyway"
"Under communism, every man has what he needs. That's why the butcher puts a sign up that says: *""nobody needs meat today.""*"