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Joke of the Day

"Blackberry users thought of making a joke abt the Apple-Samsung battle, but before they cud tweet thr phone hanged n battery drained out"

"What dog can you only find on the beach? A cockle spaniel!"

"What's the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds? Brexit"

"I asked my wife if she wanted to watch a movie with Matthew McConaughey... She said it's not a Matthew McKindaDay."

"Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can get is bronze."

"Laughed hysterically and said ""Oh yes, please do"" after the pizza shop guy asked if he could put the sauce in my box. I think I scared him."

"My girlfriend says she needs time and distance... Is she calculating velocity?"

"What do you call a plant getting kidney surgery? A transplant"

"My grandfather got his tongue shot off during WWII He never talked about it."

"The man who invented autocorrect just died. His funfair will be on Monkey."