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Joke of the Day

"Who knew in 1987 when Steven Tyler wrote ""Dude (Looks Like a Lady)"" that it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy?"

"Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb they screw in a hot tub."

"Hi yes, I'd like the cheeseburger ""How would you like that cooked?"" *gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously"

"Why I'm leaving /r/jokes I have to go to work. I'll be back later."

"My preschooler talks a lot of trash when we play Chutes and Ladders for someone who needs help counting his spaces."

"If you wanna go and take a ride with me with three women in the floor with the goat cheese."

"Two guys are watching a dog lick its privates. One guy chuckles and says, ""I wish I could do that."" The other guy says, ""Pet him, maybe he'll let you."" An oldie, but I always liked it."

"I put an ad in Craigslist for a muscular blonde with strong arms, excessive body hair and a thick British accent so I'm dating Madonna now."

"What kind of trucks do pigs drive?..... A pig up truck"

"I sincerely hope that when I get older my children don't put me in a home or on a stage at a political convention."