184391

Joke of the Day

"How are a 9-volt battery and a girl's asshole similar? Even though you know you shouldn't you lick it anyway."

"[moments after time traveling to 1863] LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL"

"I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles My next dump could spell disaster"

"Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl? Because the pee is silent."

"Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out? I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them."

"I'm thinking of selling my old vacuum cleaner It's been gathering dust for years."

"If E.A made an alphabet. Do you think if E.A made an alphabet they would make a free betabet then release the the betabet as an alphabet?"

"I'm not above apologizing for my drunken behavior I'm just sick of repeating myself"

"I hear Ireland's the richest country in the world... Its capital is always Dublin."

"I read a story by a pregnant woman on reddit She was having trouble with her pregnancy, and she said she would post an update after it was over. OP delivered."