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Joke of the Day

"How to flirt: 1. Giggle 2. Apply lip gloss 3. Look down coyly 4. Realize you applied concealer 5. Fall off barstool"

"My horoscope says I will meet the man of my dreams today. Not sure how my husband will take the news but I'm pretty damn excited"

"I'll never forget what that Pyscho said before he kicked the bucket. ""BRING ME A BUCKET, AND I'LL SHOW YOU A BUCKET."""

"What do you call a Mexican guy shouting at someone? An argumentative ese"

"I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbour mowing his lawn. He will just have to mow around me because I'm not moving.."

"What always stays hot in the refrigerator? Horseradish"

"What do kids eat for breakfast? Yogoat!"

"The only reason I'm on LinkedIn is to find employed dates for the weekends."

"*Jesus sits down at the bar* ""The boss says we have to start charging you for water"""

"What's the best thing about being a meth head? 1 sleep until Christmas."