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Joke of the Day

"Can I sleep over at your house tonight? There's too much stuff on my bed"

"Today my neighbor knocked at my door at 3 am. Can you believe that? . Lucky for him that I was awake playing the drums!"

"Schizophrenic walks into a psychiatrists office . . . says, ""Doc, am I as crazy as he says we are?"""

"A guy gets the words ""I love you"" tattooed to his dick. He goes home to his wife, and she says, ""Stop trying to put words in my mouth."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? A black guy was following her."

"Why do mexicans only cross the border in pairs? Because the sign reads no ""tres""passing."

"I just heard that there's going to be a Minecraft movie... ...it's gonna be a blockbuster."

"Did you hear about the man who bought a bucket load of Tipp-ex last week? Big mistake."

"How can you make a basset hound fast? Take away its food!"

"Just recorded the baby crying so I can play it back to him while he tries to sleep later to see how he likes it..."