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Joke of the Day

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot."

"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."

"Me: If you don't like my rules, maybe you can find a different mom. 4yo: *excitedly* Can we really do that?"

"What do you call a fast food joint that caters specifically to muslims? Allahuh Snackbar"

"How does Bono spell color? With or without ""u"""

"A coworker told me she was ""catching up on her correspondence"" so apparently it's 1932 here at my workplace."

"-gestures to everything in the Garage- Me- THESE ARE MY TOOLS AND I AM THEIR KING!!! Wife- YOU'RE a tool Me- DAMN RIGHT I AM Wait..what?"

"Funny joke! What is Charlie sheens middle name? Washingma CHARLIE WASHINGMA SHEEN"

"Apparently this isn't a nude beach. This isn't a beach at all. I'm at Target. Don't do drugs kids."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cookie ! Cookie who ? Cookie quit and now I have to make all the food !"