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Joke of the Day

"An Irish man walks past a bar..."

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"I almost died last night. I woke up at 3am and MY FOOT WAS HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED. NOT EVEN UNDER THE COVERS."
"I got fired from my bingo calling job today. Apparently 'a meal for two with a terrible view' is not an appropriate way to call 69."
"Why is it easier for women to shave ""downstairs"" than men? They don't have to go through as many obsticles."
"When an artist covers another artist's song, it's flattering. When a comedian tells another comedian's joke, it's Carlos Mencia"
"I got fired from my job at the restaurant for putting a load in the dishwasher... she was cute."
"Just because someone says, I love you, doesn't automatically mean they love just you."
"[texting] Her: We need to talk. (9:00 am) Him: About? (9:01 am) Him: What? (9:02 am) Him: WHAT??? (9:03 am) Her: Dinner tonight. (4:42 pm)"
"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."
"@realDonaldTrump the 1930s called, they said ""great idea."""