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Joke of the Day

"I invented a motorized walking stick.. I call it the hurrycane."

"I caught my Grandma sucking my Grandad's cock last night. A bit weird, since I thought they buried it along with the rest of him."

"befor they had dog cops they tried cat cops but the cats kept meowing at the policemans durimg the stakeouts"

"I dated a guy so arrogant he walked into a post while looking at his reflection in a store window. I left him. Unconscious on the street."

"A very large woman was walking her dog... and as she walked by I said ""nice pig,"" she looked at me with a puzzled face and said ""that's no pig, it's my dog."" I replied with ""I was talking to the dog."""

"Why is Santa always happy? Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)"

"Hair Stylist: What are we doing today? Me: Let's do something that will look great here but I'll have no chance of replicating at home"

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors... ...it's just something I can see myself doing."

"Why should you feel bad for the gay homeless population? Because they don't have any closets to come out of"

"A kid next to me at Starbucks says I smell like his dad. I'm like 'Well, your Dad's an alcoholic. Scram!'"