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Joke of the Day

"Well, it's almost time to show up late for something else."

"5-year-old: What are Nazis? Me: Bad people who we killed a long, long time ago 5: Why were they bad? Me: They kept correcting our grammar"

"Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single."

"What's the difference between a Walnut and a Chickpea? I've never had a Walnut on my chest.."

"I worry about people who write ""taken"" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren't we helping to find them?"

"I keep getting mixed up between claustrophobia and homophobia. Which is the one about being in a closet?"

"Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom."

"Boy, ISIS are going to be pissed when they find out New Atheists talk about God more than them."

"Do vegans get paid hourly or celery? That's it. That was the joke. No witty punchline or anything like that. Sorry."

"Friendly like talking"