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Joke of the Day
"My wife treats me like an idol she feeds me burnt offerings"
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"One big plot hole in X-Men is that Wolverine is over 100 yrs old but there's never been a point in history when that was a hairstyle."
"If you like the song ""Red Red Wine"" then U B 40."
"My phone's low battery warning is the only warning I take seriously."
"A man walks up to a cop on a horse... ...wow! That's a nice pig you've got! \-- That's not a pig, sir, but a horse. \-- I'm not talking to you!"
"How do you turn a fox into a whale? Marry her."
"How do you become invisible? Get a child and then perform sex-altering surgery. Then you become a transparent."
"Warning: the life you are about to lead contains strong language, adult situations and nudity. Exister discretion is advised."
"Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they'd broken one of my keyboard keys. I onder hich one."
"What does the president of Russia call his toilet? Vladimir's Poo Tin"