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Joke of the Day

"Every good story starts with a strong female character. You know, some heroin."

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"What did one volcano say to the other? "" i lava you """
"i dont care what anyone says, i dont have a follow up statement i just dont care what anyone says."
"What do you get if you put 5 lesbians and 5 politicians in the same room? 10 people who don't do dick."
"A guy buys some condoms... A guy is buying a box of condoms at the store. After paying the clerk, the clerk asks him ""Do you want a paper bag with that?"" He replies, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""
"Why is the moon so dark? Because the sun beat the daylights out of it. :D"
"2 Mexicans escape from prison. ""Jesus, take the wheel!"""
"Did you hear about the guy who died of an epileptic fit? He had a very flashy ending"
"On one hand, this sub has gotten a little stale. On the other hand... ... you have different fingers."
"I am going to live stream my extremely Mexican wife farting onto an 8x10 photograph of Donald trump at midnihgt"