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Joke of the Day
"People asked me to stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe."
Next Joke
"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Well I guess none; they just put the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them."
"Anyone who can tell if they're speeding up or slowing down a ceiling fan on the first try is a wizard and should not be trusted."
"Please pray for girls everywhere who are getting a ""What's up"" text right now Be strong. Don't answer. Eat ice cream."
"The milk in my fridge is so old it thinks Elvis Presley's dancing is inappropriate."
"Why does the army want to only recruit married men? Because they don't want a **single** man lost!"
"[watches you eat my bday cake] ""I've poisoned that."" ""Haha very [clasps chest & begins panting] w-with what?"" [leans in & winks] ""Poison."""
"What's green and empty? Orville's arsehole"
"Want a slutty costume? Dress up as my professors, they barely cover up anything important."
"""Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted,"" said my dad. ""Are you kidding? Really?!"" I shouted. ""Yup, get ready,"" he said. ""They'll be picking you up in about an hour."""