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Joke of the Day

"You wanna hear a joke? Women's rights"

"Wife: Who is the prettiest of my friends? Me: your mother, why? W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbult? To get to the other side."

"WARNING! Sickest joke ever. How do you know if your sister is on the rag? Dad's dick tastes like blood."

"TIFU by sitting next to a really hot Thai chick on the bus home today and kept thinking, ""Don't get an erection, don't don't don't..."" But she did."

"Why did the gay guy cross the road? I'll let you know when I get to the other side."

"Some of the best decisions I've ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send."

"Pretty sure my baby thinks the number after 10 is yay."

"Did you hear about the new Marty McFly movie... ...Where he travels back in time to become a florist? It's called Back to the Fuschia."

"What is Apple users favorite movie? No Escape"