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Joke of the Day

"why did the chicken cross the road?"

"What is a burp? A fart taking the elevator."

"What does a pedophile and a guitarist have in common... They both like to finger A-minor."

"A soldier gets his entire left half of him blown off by a landmine He's alright now though."

"I fake the art of fainting so well my favorite restaurant now refers to me as ""Low Blood Sugar Girl"" while rushing my limp body to a table."

"What is the difference between a Ferrari and a boner? I don't have a Ferrari."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? Because they can't stand to see a man happy."

"""Were dining on the finest china tonight"" A Chinese man then walks in and lays down on your table"

"""Was this car tested on animals?"" ""sir animals can't drive"" ""will this car enable animals to drive?"" ""No"" ""SO YOU DID TEST IT!"" ""god damnit"""

"Bill Gates is donating $10Billion to help children everywhere get vaccinations. ...But you know they're just gonna spend it on booze."