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Joke of the Day

"Any one want to get a Helen Keller thread going? What do you do after you rape Helen Keller? Break her fingers so she can't tell her mom."

"My ex and I would role play from time to time. She would dress up as a teacher and call my mother to tell her that I ate the Crayons again."

"Two nuns... There are two nuns in a bath. One says, ""where's the soap?"" The other says, ""it does rather, doesn't it!"""

"There is a time and place for decaf coffee. (Never and in the trash)"

"Why is PC the mustard race? Because consoles can't ketchup."

"I had sex with both of the Olsen twins. But that was before they were famous."

"Is it rude to go up to someone with an eyepatch and say ""Was it all fun and games up until that point?"""

"What do you call a sudden breeze at The Masters? Augusta wind."

"I called a suicide hotline today... they do NOT give the kind of advice I was looking for."

"Just because I've lost my mind doesn't mean I'm looking for it."