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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Stalin's penis was the funniest part of his body? It was real commiedick."

"Coworker: got a second? Me: you mean the one you just wasted or another one?"

"Boss ""Are you high?"" Me ""If I was high could I do this?"" *Inserts a USB into it's port the right way up 1st time"""

"A battery is like a loner They're both not included in anything"

"I will die one day at a Del Taco, shot dead by a SWAT team after taking several hostages over what I feel is the meaning of extra cheese."

"The non-Spanish version of Ambien is called Amgood."

"Anyone wanna buy any budgies? I've got two round the house going cheep!"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue when he drank his coffee? ....Because he drank it before it was cool."

"I was driving through a woodland area the other day and accidentally hit a stag It really spoiled the wedding"

"Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out an important part of human anatomy that is more useful when it is erect. Er... SPINE?"