112938

Joke of the Day

"Helped my kid pick out a ""famous past explorer"" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6."

"How do you make five pounds of fat look sexy? Slap a nipple on it."

"The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch."

"I'm not schizophrenic *yes he is*"

"A very, very old one. A man is standing in an elevator, when a woman walks in. The woman asks ""Can I smell your balls?"" ""No you cannot smell my balls."" ""It must be your feet then."""

"A fifth Fast and Furious movie? Let me suggest: Fa5t and Furiou5. That's a free one, Hollywood."

"I put my blood sweat and tears into making this Red cordial"

"Windows 9 Why didn't Microsoft release Windows 9? Because Windows 7 8 9."

"What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley? the location of the dirt bag!"

"What did the math book say to the literature book? You're so full of great stories, I'm just filled with problems"