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Joke of the Day

"I don't care if you're here to murder me - we take our shoes off in this house."

"When I see a girl, I first look at her hair. Then at her eyes, lips, neck... Damn dial-up!"

"What's the real reason old men take Viagra? So they don't roll out of bed!"

"What's worse than sucking 12 raw oysters out of your grandma's vagina? Realizing you only put in 11"

"What's the difference between a Taliban training camp and a Pakistani wedding? I don't know. I just fly the drone."

"What's the best score you can get on a test? ""Not Pregnant"""

"Sometimes I like to repost my statuses that didn't get any ""Likes""... because they deserve a second chance too."

"How not to be funny. /r/funny"

"People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig."

"You don't understand how hard it is to play Dungeons & Dragons when your dragon is gay, fabulous and always protesting violence. It's hard."