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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar? Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss"

"Why didn't anyone care about the circus? Because it was irr-elephant"

"""Sir, you cannot fish here!"" ""Don't worry, I'm just teaching my worm to swim."""

"How is a 9 Volt Battery similar to an Anus? You know you shouldn't, but eventually you're gunna lick it."

"Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned."

"Mad Max: Fury Road fans never actually watched the movie they WITNESSED it."

"On this planet... Every 10 seconds... there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped!"

"Why should every woman know a C++ programmer? Because they'll always let friends access their private members. Ba dum tiss."

"If a plane from California crashes in a cemetery in Montana where are the survivors buried?"

"What do you do when your car is making a really annoying noise? Open the door and kick her out."