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Joke of the Day

"[warning: Dad joke] What country has the most internet crimes? E-gypt"

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"What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire? This is not a drill."
"it's almost as if one's education has nothing to do with learning how not to be an idiot"
"Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they live by the bay, they would be bagels!"
"Mother in law found me... On the twitter This will be converted into a pineapple upside down cake blog for the next 72 hours. I'm so sorry"
"Charles Dickins walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender says, Olive or Twist?"
"Masking tape never makes a very realistic mask."
"Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive."
"I got friend zoned today.... So I asked if she knew what incest was..."
"Flight Attendant: Would you like some headphones? Man: Yes, and how did you know my name was Phones?"