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Joke of the Day

"What did the windmill say to the windmill engineer? I'm a big fan of your work"

"*pushes vending machine over NO YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!"

"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender goes, ""Why the long face?"" So the horse proceeds to rampage around the bar because he's a fucking horse."

"How Many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the ladder and ensure the safety of the second feminist who will unscrew the old lightbulb and replace it with a new one."

"Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn't counting calories."

"Why don't pc gamers get laid Because they're micro-soft"

"I did a self defense course I would't recommend anyone to attack me in slow motion"

"Troll your friends by texting them a fake blinking ellipsis (""..."") http://imgur.com/3RM8yC2"

"Two smut writers get together... That night there was a lot of fanfriction."

"My favourite sex position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."