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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I only smoke after sex; I've had the same pack since 2003. She's up to three packs a day. Rodney Dangerfield"

"What did the bunny ask his boss for? A raise in *celery*."

"What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday? Forget it once."

"I saw a girl texting and driving earlier today and it really pissed me off... So I rolled my window down and threw my beer at her."

"Plot twist: The Rock isn't Kid Rock's real dad."

"In Louisville, KY where bars are open till 4 am. Here's my slogan for them: ""Get upchucky in Kentucky."""

"my gang colors are taupe and beige"

"What is Chuck Norris' only weakness? Cancer"

"Jokes that Eddie Murphy could have done on SNL40. Here is mine. I did comedy for the fame, money and sex with white women. The 80's was so long ago. Good night folks."

"I saw Jesus on the bus today. He was the Juan in front of me."