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Joke of the Day

"Just heard a dad threaten to spank his screaming son ""in front of the world."" Stand your ground, kid. There's no way he has that technology."

"Nice try Asian guy in porns."

"Q: How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None They don't make Pampers small enough."

"What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken."

"How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb? None. They like it on the dark side."

"What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline? You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline."

"""Hello?"" Dad come get me from practice ""Sorry I'm going into a tunnel"" *sound of mom giggling* But I called the *connection drops* ...landline"

"Who delivers Easter treats to all the fish in the sea? The Oyster Bunny!"

"Vet: ""I can see the head... ...here's the neck... ...more neck... ...more neck... ...neck... ...neck... ...neck... ...still more neck... ...neck... ...it's a giraffe!"""