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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty."

"I told my boss I couldn't come into work because my anal glaucoma was acting up. I just couldn't see my ass there."

"My friend was talking about how he sleeps when its dark around. So I'd advised him not to join the basketball team."

"Wanna hear a joke about Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? I would tell you but its dangerously cheesy."

"Why was the feminist picnic so bad Nobody made sandwiches"

"What do we want? TIME TRAVEL! When do we want it? THAT'S IRRELEVANT!"

"Today's workout. Light weights. 1 hour parkouring rooftops on my block. It's surprising how many people have skylights in their bathrooms."

"If i had two number 9s for every gender that exists I would have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda."

"Why are all of the accountants supporting Hillary Clinton? They want to save 20%."

"What do you call a iPhone 6S when its out of memory? Successful. *if u dont get the joke, successful = six-es-ful*"