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Joke of the Day
"The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me."
Next Joke
"I saw a train today... It seemed really angry."
"My wife accused me of being a transvestite. So I packed her things and left."
"A time traveller walks into a bar... http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3lsgus/and_the_bartender_says_sorry_we_dont_serve_time/"
"Natural Rights - opposite of natural lefts"
"Those black cats better not cross my path. I'm not superstitious. Just racist."
"Blowjobs are like paying your taxes. If you don't do it, you are going to be fucked."
"I wish my lawn were a depressed emo so it would just cut itself."
"Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with."
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and an oompa loompa? If you are wise, you won't listen to him."