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Joke of the Day

"What did the anti-vaccer say to her son? I miss you."

"Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar... followed by Batman."

"Did you hear about the midget Scotsman who does avant garde strip tease? He's a little off kilter."

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now"

"All You Need Is Love. And an IQ low enough to believe that."

"How loud can you talk? -Alcohol"

"How much will a pirate charge you for a piercing? Buckaneer"

"Sharks don't sleep so I'm pretending I'm a shark except one that sings along with Lady Gaga. I'm Lady Sharkshark! Anyway, totally drunk."

"What's worse than the Holocaust? The Holocaust! wait shit"

"Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."