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Joke of the Day

"I got a notice that a sex offender just moved in nearby and I'm worried for my children... So I got them all pedometers."

"What did the winner of the not moving contest get? Atrophy"

"that's one of the last straws. I'm going to throw a small tantrum, then continue putting up with both this bullshit and all future bullshit."

"I'm the king of letting my phone ring for a while before I pick it up so it seems like I'm busy"

"A black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The police. They're the police, racist."

"You don't need to learn how to masturbate, It comes naturally."

"What video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft."

"If a rapper named e came out as gay He would say E=MCQUEERED"

"A book fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame"

"How to walk up the down escalator: Step 1: Step 1: Step 1: Step 1: Step 1:"