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Joke of the Day

"Gabe Newell! Gabe Newell lived from 1962 until Half-Life 3, confirmed!"

"What does a sperm whale say after getting a massage? (NSFW) You're whale-cum!"

"A dog limps into a bar... and says"" I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"I just did a fart that was like the movie 'The Sixth Sense' There was a weird twist at the end, now I'm afraid to look"

"Why did the terrorist go to Sonic? To have a Blast!"

"I always watch the credits at the end of a movie just to see if there's a chance I got drunk and stumbled onto the set."

"I received the oddest dollar bill as change. When I looked closely, I noticed that George Washington was wearing face-paint, a wig, and round, red nose. It was obviously a clownterfeit."

"I asked my wife what she wanted for christmas she told me ""nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace"" so I bought her nothing"

"My friends call me an attention whore, but that can't be true Just look at me!"

"Why did the train kill people? It had a loco-motive."