181963

Joke of the Day

"My boss caught me sleeping on the job and told me to clean out my desk as if he didn't just see how lazy I am."

"How do you confuse a fish? You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner!"

"Sometimes it is best not to talk unless you can improve on the silence."

"Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it."

"What happens when the PS and XBOX servers go down? The ambulance comes lights and sirens, ""WII-U WII-U WII-U"" I'm sorry, I'll leave now ._."

"I just ate a frozen apple! Hardcore."

"""You're sure you understand stock trading?"" ME: Yep ""Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"""

"Whats the difference between a bdsm slavegirl, and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking if you slap it."

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from Vegetarian Club. I was a bit confused, seeing how I'd never met herbivore."

"What's at the beginning of the rainbow? Refraction of sunlight in raindrops"