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Joke of the Day

"Marriage tips 1. Separate bank accounts 2. Separate bedrooms 3. Separate homes 4. Separate dates w/other ppl 5. 6. Don't get married"

"If I were cloned I'd be beside myself with confusion. Really, I'd probably see double."

"What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral? Don't stop, bereaving!"

"I went to the doctor the other day and he told me I need to quit masturbating I asked why and he said ""because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"Mother: I told you not eat cake before supper. Daughter: But Mum it's part of my homework. 'If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake how much is left."

"I got probed by an alien last night Its true what they say, Mexicans do work good with their hands"

"An opinion without 3.14 ...is just an onion. "

"[3am] *nudges wife* No way the old guy blew up all those balloons in Up in 1 night. Honey, you awake? I mean he's like a million years old."

"Hangman is a weird game to let kids play. Hey kid, if you don't think of this word, a random man will be put to death."

"A: My dog had a nose surgery - B: How does he smell? A: Terrible!"