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Joke of the Day

"Why do bears poop in the woods? So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!"

"To those that say I'm Cancer I'm not Cancer, I'm Aquarius!"

"Q: What is the difference between a dog and a viola? A: The dog knows when to stop scratching."

"What do the Enterprise and and toilet paper have in common? They both circle around Uranus searching for klingons."

"Turns out being a conspiracy theorist and having Asian friends don't go so well together. You can only shout ""OPEN YOUR EYES!"" so many times before someone gets offended."

"I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need."

"Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... 'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose'"

"What idiot coined the term ex-fiance Instead of near-Mrs Edit: ex fiancee. I'm not as smart as I thought I was.."

"*goes to the gym* *takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see* *hurries to the bar*"

"I realized that haven't done the Hokey Pokey in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it's all about."