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Joke of the Day

"My New Girlfriend Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Google asks where I am. The internet has turned into my girlfriend."

"When do you use duct tape on a duck? When he's quacked."

"An old couple were in church the other morning and the old lady said to the old man ""I've just broken wind silently, what will I do?"" He said, ""First thing is get new batteries for your hearing aid""."

"What do the French call a bad Thursday? A tra-jeudi."

"How do fish lose weight? They Swim-fast."

"If a man sais he'll do something, he'll do it! You don't have to remind him every 6 months..."

"MEDIC: ""Put pressure on the wound!"" ME: ""Hey, wound! All the cool kids are drinking and you should too!"""

"""I'm wet and have crabs."" That's what sea said."

"What does mosquito say when its parents die? shhhhhh.....it !!"

"What do you call a muscular Arab A protein sheikh"