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Joke of the Day

"Looks like someone is stealing our jokes from r/jokes I was sent this by my roomate, http://www.tickld.com/x/the-25-best-two-line-jokes-ever-14-is-priceless What shall we do reddit?"

"Horse detective stood in the rain and looked out to sea. He thought about justice and fate. He thought about her. He thought about apples."

"Hey girl are you like a gorilla exhibit? Cause I want to drop a baby in you."

"Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire? Because they can only semi retire."

"The phone cops got a new case. It fit snuggly."

"What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest? One goes limp when a child walks in the room."

"I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly."

"A lot of you are calling me ""mom"" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old."

"What do you call a person who is a bit of a jew? Jew-ish"

"Dave: I don't want to sound stupid.... Me: Then stop right there and say nothing."