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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me I look ""uncool"" with a bike helmet on... Well you know I'd rather look uncool than fall and split my head open during sex."

"Have you heard about the slippery eel ? Didn't think so you wouldn't be able to grasp it !sna"

"When the aliens land I refuse to be the one who explains why mannequins have no heads/arms/legs but do have noticeably erect nipples."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side. No offense."

"I know Mexican culture is big on traditions: baptism at birth, ear piercing as a baby, but what's the one they do when they turn 15? Have a baby."

"If Jason Bateman was a Jedi... I would call him Master Bateman."

"How much to learn the thriller dance moves? ""Ma'am... this is senior citizens Zumba class!"""

"Mother: Fred why did you put a slug in your grandma's bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake."

"i'll never forget what my Grandad said to me just before he kicked the bucket ""Grandson... how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"When I was young I would go and throw rocks at the man doing Taekwondo in the park I would always get a huge kick out of it"